Derek Smalls - Spandex trousers can’t be expanded

It’s been some decades since Derek Smalls came to fame as the bass player in the rock band Spinal Tap. A documentary about the band made him a household name but the phone hasn’t rung much in the years after its release. He did release a solo album with help from the British Fund for Ageing Rockers but now spends most of time reading crime fiction and managing toe fungus. Oh, and he eats a banana every day.